"Bert Hellinger blessed my life, and gifted my soul." Krista Jarrard, Center for Systemic Healing
Bert Hellinger
Systemic or Family Constellations is founded on the work of German therapist, Bert Hellinger, this phenomenological approach probes the secret soul or conscience of the family or a system. What he observed, through thousands of family systems, with which he worked, are age-old "Orders of Love" that governs the family systems and their members.
"When we understand the systemic laws that allow love to unfold, we may help suffering families and individuals to find solutions, even after a lifetime of hate, anger and abuse". Bert Hellinger.
When there has been a trauma or someone in the family system has been excluded, forgotten, cast out, or suffered a difficult fate, someone of the following generations unconsciously and invariably will step in and bring the lost member's destiny back through living it out in this lifetime effecting us in ways in which we have no understanding. It happens out of a deep but hidden loyalty out of the secret law that will not allow anyone of a family system being denied the right to belong. It is a love so deep that the family member may unconsciously choose to die, rather than "betray" the family bond.
By working gently, honestly and directly with facts, rather than beliefs, or our story, we can discover previously hidden dynamics, halt there operation, acknowledge what is and allow healing resolution. Healing professionals worldwide and now the U.S. are witnessing the profound healing that can take place using Systemic or Family Constellation Work.
"When we understand the systemic laws that allow love to unfold, we may help suffering families and individuals to find solutions, even after a lifetime of hate, anger and abuse". Bert Hellinger.
When there has been a trauma or someone in the family system has been excluded, forgotten, cast out, or suffered a difficult fate, someone of the following generations unconsciously and invariably will step in and bring the lost member's destiny back through living it out in this lifetime effecting us in ways in which we have no understanding. It happens out of a deep but hidden loyalty out of the secret law that will not allow anyone of a family system being denied the right to belong. It is a love so deep that the family member may unconsciously choose to die, rather than "betray" the family bond.
By working gently, honestly and directly with facts, rather than beliefs, or our story, we can discover previously hidden dynamics, halt there operation, acknowledge what is and allow healing resolution. Healing professionals worldwide and now the U.S. are witnessing the profound healing that can take place using Systemic or Family Constellation Work.
Bert Hellinger and Krista Jarrard Santa Barbara, Ca 2002
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Bert Hellinger made an extraordinary contribution to humanity though his work with families, systems and consciousness.
Krista Jarrard is blessed to have trained extensively with Bert Hellinger, in US training's and Austria for Advanced Family Constellations, Hellinger Sciencia and Movements of the Spirit Mind since 2000. Bert Hellinger passed from this realm in 2019 after sharing his gift for life well into his 90s. He is revered by his students clients world wide.
He is remembered with love in this tribute video.
Bert Hellinger made an extraordinary contribution to humanity though his work with families, systems and consciousness.
Krista Jarrard is blessed to have trained extensively with Bert Hellinger, in US training's and Austria for Advanced Family Constellations, Hellinger Sciencia and Movements of the Spirit Mind since 2000. Bert Hellinger passed from this realm in 2019 after sharing his gift for life well into his 90s. He is revered by his students clients world wide.
He is remembered with love in this tribute video.
Bert Hellinger on "The Conscience of Belonging."
“The idea for the family constellations came about after years observing people’s conscience. I discovered that people are most plagued by guilt if they’ve done something that threatens their association with the group. Their guilty conscience drives them to do everything they can to change the situation so they belong again. In this context, therefore, innocence is nothing more than the feeling that you’re accepted by your group, that you belong. And guilt is the feeling that you’ve forfeited your membership in the group. This insight is the foundation of my work.
“I saw a kind of conscience: a collective conscience. This unconscious conscience is often at odds with our individual conscience and becomes visible in the group dynamic of family constellations. The collective conscience does not discriminate between good and bad. For example, based on your individual conscience you can be excluded from a family if you have … betrayed someone, married outside your race or faith, robbed them or worse. However, the collective conscience won’t tolerate shutting someone out of the family. So what happens is that a family member of a subsequent generation takes on the blame under the influence of the collective conscience and repeats the action. This family member strongly identifies him- or herself with the family member who was shut out, forgotten or rebuffed. Much of what leads to illness, suicide or serious accidents is the result of the fact that an innocent family member unconsciously takes the place of a guilty one and takes on his fate. It’s really about an attempt to restore balance to the collective conscience.
“Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. It resolves nothing. The only thing that happens is that the action continues to be repeated—from generation to generation. The family tragedies that result are due to a conflict between the individual and family conscience. Looking at family constellations enables this area of tension to be resolved.
“The individual is only himself when a place has been found within him for those who belong to him. That starts with the parents. Anyone who rejects his parents can’t ever come to terms with himself. How can he be happy when he’s excluding a huge part of himself? We are our parents. We can take great pains to develop ourselves but if we can’t embrace our parents in our hearts and honor them, there’s no room in our hearts and we become depressed. And that’s just the beginning. Not only do you need to give your ‘family’ a place in your heart, but also the members of past generations—including the ones who were despised, cursed or forgotten, like children who died young or were aborted.
“Only when all of them have a place do we feel complete. Only when you can embrace others in your heart are you free of them. Not a moment sooner. Otherwise they will not let you rest and will constantly get in your way. In this context, the big spiritual word ‘completeness’ takes on a very simple meaning. I am complete when I have given everyone a place. When we are able to allow others into our heart—that is true spirituality—then we feel equal to them. Not higher or better, not lower or less. Complete equality. This breaks through the limits of the personal and collective conscience. Jews, Christians, Muslims… it no longer matters. All different, all equal. This is reconciliation and only then can there be peace.”
“I saw a kind of conscience: a collective conscience. This unconscious conscience is often at odds with our individual conscience and becomes visible in the group dynamic of family constellations. The collective conscience does not discriminate between good and bad. For example, based on your individual conscience you can be excluded from a family if you have … betrayed someone, married outside your race or faith, robbed them or worse. However, the collective conscience won’t tolerate shutting someone out of the family. So what happens is that a family member of a subsequent generation takes on the blame under the influence of the collective conscience and repeats the action. This family member strongly identifies him- or herself with the family member who was shut out, forgotten or rebuffed. Much of what leads to illness, suicide or serious accidents is the result of the fact that an innocent family member unconsciously takes the place of a guilty one and takes on his fate. It’s really about an attempt to restore balance to the collective conscience.
“Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. It resolves nothing. The only thing that happens is that the action continues to be repeated—from generation to generation. The family tragedies that result are due to a conflict between the individual and family conscience. Looking at family constellations enables this area of tension to be resolved.
“The individual is only himself when a place has been found within him for those who belong to him. That starts with the parents. Anyone who rejects his parents can’t ever come to terms with himself. How can he be happy when he’s excluding a huge part of himself? We are our parents. We can take great pains to develop ourselves but if we can’t embrace our parents in our hearts and honor them, there’s no room in our hearts and we become depressed. And that’s just the beginning. Not only do you need to give your ‘family’ a place in your heart, but also the members of past generations—including the ones who were despised, cursed or forgotten, like children who died young or were aborted.
“Only when all of them have a place do we feel complete. Only when you can embrace others in your heart are you free of them. Not a moment sooner. Otherwise they will not let you rest and will constantly get in your way. In this context, the big spiritual word ‘completeness’ takes on a very simple meaning. I am complete when I have given everyone a place. When we are able to allow others into our heart—that is true spirituality—then we feel equal to them. Not higher or better, not lower or less. Complete equality. This breaks through the limits of the personal and collective conscience. Jews, Christians, Muslims… it no longer matters. All different, all equal. This is reconciliation and only then can there be peace.”